Some said "If things looks good but feel wrong, it is not."
That's hit me and cause me think more about the situation that I am in since a year ago; finally decided to left a toxic manager is best decision I made.
No regret although there is moment I can't help but self doubt about my decision whether rational, it took many day & night to acknowledge that money isn't the only measurement.
4 months break, it bring back the sense about how living a life feel like. It is something I did not pay attention since start my career and live as responsible adult.
For many years, I live like a turbines that work in full force. I have my schedule fill up with many stuffs. As introvert person in real life, I never give much time and effort for the real me. Instead, I gave whole my energy to maintained the social character that everyone knows. The lost of boundary caused burn out and I finally realist I could not run away from the problem.
I took year and year on therapy, medicine and regular exercise to try get back the control of my minds, stay a little healthier and perhaps positive.
I appreciate the courage I show to myself, the effort I took to protect myself.
After all, it worth.
One journey end, I am about start a new journey, and I will do thing differently this time. I remind myself when things get difficult, remember the whole journey I go through, do not walk away from problem, keep asking myself if I have try enough. And, let go when I can finally answer myself.
Thanks for all my friends, sending me love, checking on me from time to time, tell me how they feel and see me, keep remind me who am I when I in doubt; I feel loved, supported.
I can't be grateful enough. Life is rich.
May29, 2025.